Post by Scribe on Aug 19, 2009 23:31:03 GMT -5
SOMEDAY IN THE FUTURE....
The ritual started after first day he took her to pre-school.
It had been a rough day for him. Oh, Lexie was fine. She was excited and jabbering about going all week. Sloane had helped her pick out what she was going to wear and Tom had actually learned how to braid hair though anyone who saw him doing it would have to die.
And he didn’t give a fuck who they where.
It was just one of those things he had to learn being a father and who would have though braiding hair would be almost as hard as putting a phase rifle together in a swamp, up to his neck in shit. It was, just like learning why her dolls were named what they were, from Mervyn the Bear to the fuzzy Troll Man that Celine had told her to name Loman.
Tom had laughed at that one.
But on the day, when he took her to school, it didn’t escape him that not only was he the only single dad there but also the only Shark. He had planned on dropping her off, going to work and not being any more affected than that.
But the instant her hand left his and she followed the rest of the kids to class, Tom felt a deep sense of loss he couldn't begin to describe.
It was as if at that very moment, he came to the realization that one day, she would grow up and she wouldn't be daddy's little girl anymore. From school, she would start pulling away from him, on the road becoming a person who eventually would go on to her life, leaving him behind. Since Alex's death, burying himself in raising Lexie had taken away the numbing pain of his wife being gone and he thought he was past it, save for that one time on their first anniversary after her death. But seeing that bright little face, sunshine personified waving at him as she left him, was a stark reminder that someday Lexie too would be gone.
Tom had never thought he could feel so hollow.
So he was there waiting to get Lexie when she was finished for the day, determined not to waste any of the time before that day. Tom took her to the Barn and found a nice spot overlooking the range where her mother had sauntered into his life and changed everything with her imperious manner. Armed with milk shakes and burgers, they sat on the benches framing the range, watching the Sharks go about their business, just the two of them as she jabbered cheerily about what she did that first day.
And this was the ritual so ingrained that even the grunts and officers alike got used to seeing their commanding officer, parked on that bench every day at the same time, with a little ray of sunshine in a lavender dress, jabbering about anything that entered her head.
“Tell me about her.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Did she look like me?”
“Yeah luv,” Tom nodded. “You’ve got her hair and her smile.”
“Was she beautiful?”
“The most beautiful woman I ever saw.”
“Did she like ponies?”
Tom had to think. “I don’t know luv but she liked apple trees.”
The little girl’s brow furrowed, “Apple trees?”
“Yeah,” he answered. “When she was a little girl, not much bigger than you, she lived near an apple orchard with big bloody trees full of apples, red ones, green ones, all ripe and shinning. She said she used to wake up with the smell in her room.”
“Daddy you said a bad word,” she pointed out.
“Who says,” he tossed her a look.
“Aunty Sloane,” she frowned, arms folded, staring at him critically.
“Sharks swear,” Tom snorted but felt guilty nevertheless. “What are you? Princess or Shark?”
“A SHARK!” She jumped to her feet, sneakers bouncing on the ground next to him MACO issued boots.
“That’s my girl,” he grinned.
“Did you love her?”
There was a pause before he answered. “Yes,” he answered, his voice an octave lower. “I loved her.”
“You’re sad.” She pouted, brown eyes fluid.
“I’m fine,” he shrugged, dismissing it.
Small arms wrapped around his neck and kissed him on the cheek. “Don’t be sad daddy.”
“I’ll try,” he gave her a little smile.
“When did you love her?”
“When?” He threw her a look, a brow arching in question.
“When I saw Mervyn, I loved him right away.” She explained. “Was it the same with mommy?”
A small smile tugged at his lips. The teddy named Mervyn had been a gift from Ren. Where the child came up with that name Tom never knew but Mervyn was her constant companion through many adventures.
“Yes,” he nodded again. “It was the same with mommy.”
“How did you know you loved her?”
Another pause followed. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I just knew.”
She gave him another strange look. “That doesn’t make sense daddy.” She pointed out because at five, she knew when things didn’t make sense. She was her mother’s daughter.
“Not everything has to make sense luv,” he pointed out. “Sometimes, things just happen.”
“Like Mommy going away?”
He sucked in his breath. “Like your mum going away.”
“Are you going away?”
“Not for awhile.”
“Promise?” She spat in her hand and extended it towards him in a hand shake.
“You’re spending too much bloody time with Derick.”
“Daddy…this is how a Shark keeps a promise. Uncle Derick says so.”
“Uncle Derick also says he’s laid every woman in Gaia but it doesn’t always mean its true…” he returned.
“Daddy…!” She gave him that look of exasperation so reminiscent of Alex that it almost hurt.
“Alright,” he took the extended hand and shook it. “I promise.”
“Good.” She smiled at him with approval. “Daddy will I get married one day?”
“Probably,” he doesn’t like to think on this. He’s still hoping she’ll want to be a nun.
“To Uncle Derick?”
Without missing a beat, Tom replied over the taste of bile in his throat.
“Over his dead body.”